2007-08-14 L'accusé prétendait avoir simplement voulu traire la chèvre (EN)

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Accused Says He Was Just Milking Goat

August 14th, 2007 10:24 pm


“A man accused of having sex with a goat is scheduled to be arraigned on Friday on a animal cruelty charge. Charging papers say a witness saw 63-year-old Arthur Lawton having sex with a goat May 8th in a barn at Eatonville’s Pioneer Farm Museum where he worked. Lawton said he was trying to milk the goat. Lawton missed a scheduled arraignment on August 3rd but turned himself in last night to Pierce County sheriff’s deputies. He’s the second person charged in the county since the Legislature made bestiality a crime in response to the fatal injury to a man having sex with a horse in Enumclaw.” — Examiner.com (US)

The Pioneer Farm Museum in Eatonville, Washington, is evidently one of those quaint little fake 19th century homesteads where parents shlep their kids to show them how different life was back in the days of yore. On its web site you can find pictures of a pig (the photo is named “bacon bits”), a horse, and, yes, a few goats. There’s Nacho and Black Jack and Cassandra, who has quite an udder hanging down there.

Gosh, when you have a gander at that udder, aren’t you filled with an irresistible urge to take care of business? That goat sure needs milking, doesn’t it? Nowadays milking is automated. You attach these suction devices to the nipples and it sucks all the milk into tubes. But that’s not the way they did it back in the good old days. Nope, our proud ancestors lowered their pants, spit on their hands, rubbed it on themselves, and set about to milking with a fury… Er, wait a minute, is that really how they did it back then? Or is Mr. Lawton a bit confused about the historical methods he was probably supposed to be reenacting? If nothing else, he was certainly confused about one thing — who was supposed to be milking whom.

You can only hope that the Pioneer Farm didn’t make any cheese from whatever Mr. Lawton milked out of himself.